I closed several listings for subjects that I still love because I’ve realized that to keep my interest in building and maintaining fanlistings alive, I can’t let dead weight drag me down. That, unfortunately, includes fanlistings that I have kept open just because I knew no one else would build them. D:

For the record I still have the members databases for the following closed listings. They are in the Enth format, gzipped. If anyone re-opens these listings I would be happy to give the members lists to the new owner!

Black Blood Brothers (Series)
Black Blood Brothers: Mochizuki Jirou (Characters 0-M)
Black Blood Brothers: Katsuragi Mimiko and Mochizuki Jirou (Relationships)
Fruits Basket: Sohma Ayame and Sohma Hatori (Relationships)
Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (His and Her Circumstances): Music of (Music)
Shinobi Life (Series)

I am sad to close these, some of which I have owned for many years, but I am looking forward to having a fresh start in my Fanlisting, ah, “career”, LOL!

Originally published at Nameless Blossom Updates. Please leave any comments there.

But I totally discovered an actress who looks EXACTLY like how I picture The Hunger Games' Katniss Everdeen. I doubt that anyone will agree with me, since I think everyone gets different images in their heads, but here she is:
( Sarah Hyland from Modern Family )

Soooo... yeah. After complaining so much about how life sucks, it's actually going pretty good right now. Lessee.

1. Was promoted within my company and will be running my own store. And making nearly double what I do now. That's right. DOUBLE. FFFFF. So you better believe I will be working my ass off.

2. I've been spending more and more time offline with friends and family and have begun to realize more and more that I actually, DON'T need the internet to help define who I am ... the real me is actually a person I kind of like! Imagine that!

3. My boys are getting older (Lil Ichigo turned two today! Yesterday, actually, LOL) and I am trying to do more and more to give them the world. i want to get my big Turtle out of public school and into a private school, and before I know it, it will be pre-school time for Lil Ichigo! They like stuff like basketball, and video games, and swimming and I've realized - hey, why not send them to camps, or get them games of their own, or pool passes. It has to be more about their lives now, not mine.

4. If there are things I want, then BY GOLLY I HAVE TO MAKE THEM HAPPEN - oh my gosh, how come it always hits me like a ton of bricks that I need to put some effort into things? I can't just sit around on my laurels, even if a laurel is a good place to sit.

That said, there are a lot of things I am seriously contemplating about my online presence. Sites that I think would be better off withdrawn from, and others that I should close down all together. It's easy to forget when you've spent so much time online that it feels like coming home but... the fact is that I am NOT Shalott. I AM HOLLY. Me, yep, that's me. I guess it's really starting to feel like it is Holly's time to shine.

That's scary. And that's exciting. I've spent at least four hours online every day (except for when I didn't have access) for the past.... ten years. WTF... how much time is that? Could I have been doing something else? Am I a different person than I would have been otherwise? And if yes.... am I better? Or worse?

Please check out this post, secret #175.

Now, I am not so vain to think that this re: my last post (my journal is f-locked anyways, and I would hope that no one I consider a friend wouldn't be able to say something like that to my face) but coming so soon on the heels of said previous post really bothered me, especially by the fact that this anon felt the need to judge other people's decisions.

For the record: yes. I have fandom tattoos. And yes. I understand that feelings/fandoms change. In the past two decades of my life I have been *actively* involved in at least seven fandoms that I considered VERY IMPORTANT to me at that time. No, obviously I don't have tattoos for everything, and no I am no longer involved in the majority of those fandoms.

If I did have a tattoo for every single one of those fandoms, even the one(s) that went down the shit-hole in the end, and even the thought of them leaves a bitter, nasty taste in my mouth? Even the one that was completely destroyed by it's creator and became an ugly, twisted thing with no relation to the original idea? I WOULD NEVER REGRET THEM.

Because to me, each of my tattoos (the fandom ones - there are three of them - and the other two) means SO MUCH MORE to me, that just an image representing a person/place/thing I liked at some point in time. To me, those tattoos are a reminder of the feelings I had when I was tattooed, of the people I knew and the things we did, the good times and the bad. To me, these are reminders permanently placed on my body of the life I lead, and the life I have spent so far - whether I continue to be involved in fandom or whether I move on, THESE FEELINGS WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.

To me, each of my tattoos holds so many memories tied up in it (of that time I spent all night talking about Cordelia and Angel with Lissette and Sarah; or an hour long rant about how Just Kaien has fucked up my life with my Wife; or when I was stupid and 18 and desperate for a tattoo that showed how much I love Gambit but didn't want any of my non-fandom friends to know) that it hurts my feelings and PISSES me off that some anon out there would look at me and brush me off saying they "lose respect for me" because I chose to keep those memories close in a way that I enjoy - through a tattoo.

Fuck you, anon. You lose respect for me? Well sod off - I never had any for you in the first place.

Adoption post of DOOM at TAFL – see it here.

To a lesser extent of doom at TFL – it’s over here.

Please apply! I hate closing fanlistings – it hurts my heart. D:

Originally published at Nameless Blossom Updates. Please leave any comments there.

I have completed a revamp to my fanlisting collective! What was formerly known as Mysterique Sign will now be known as worldEND and has been streamlined a bit to help complete this overhaul.

I played around a bit with different PhotoShop filters and such. I originally wanted to make the stock photo I used for the background look like an old, decaying photo but liked the way the brush stylized it so much that I kept it that way instead.  With the way I brushed the edges, and Senjougahara standing outside the background image I feel like it looks as if the old scene is crumbling away and she’s stepping into the new one. Very fitting for the new name!

You can view the new worldEND fanlisting collective here.

Originally published at Nameless Blossom Updates. Please leave any comments there.

*sigh* The internet makes me feel very tired and very old tonight....

I had a lot of hope after reading the spoilers, but seeing the chapter for myself made me very happy.


( Sheet... spoilers here. )

Kubo you heartless bastard, I love you.

Kubo, you crazy bastard. You are the most unhealthy relationship I have ever had in my entire life. You can't keep doing this to me. I WANT TO BE RID OF YOU AND THEN YOU PULL OUT A 352.

I am gonna do this proglution style because I need pictures damnit. *loves Wife*

( Bleach 352 thoughts. )

All in all, this is my favorite chapter in a very long time - perhaps ever. I am extremely impressed by the actions of both Ishida and Ulquiorra, I continue to be slightly terrified by this non-Ichigo and I hope to finally see Orihime stop being such the useless pile that we all know and hate. Plus we got Rukia, Chad and Renji for a short time, too. I look forward to next week and PLEASE KUBO DON"T STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING TO KEEP YOU SANE. plsthnx.